Routines, Twattiness & Sleep.

Its difficult to resume a routine once it has been forgone. During the holiday periods I frequently find myself roaming around the house saying 'I have nothing to do', 'I'm bored', when in actual fact I have so many things I need to get done. I take life for granted a lot; I watch TV instead of writing down my thoughts, I obsess far too much over social situations than what I'm supposed to be reading and dream far too much about the future when I should be living in the present. Becoming entangled in fantasy, its easier to forget about reality and even worse, it makes me feel like I've already achieved half of what I want. It's fucking ridiculous that I should be feeling so gratified when in actuality, I've managed to accomplish nothing more then coming up with an idea and never putting it in to action. Procrastination and I seem to be fantastic friends at the moment.

Sleep and I, are not.

Although during this Semester, I've managed to try and progress from the immaturity I possessed in my first year. Finishing assignments hours before the deadline, skim-reading and leaving writing full of the most ridiculous mistakes is not something I want to take in to my second semester of the year. I've managed to miss out on firsts several times throughout my first semester. If I had taken the time to do that extra proof-reading or plan in advance, perhaps my marks would have been made up, but I'm still in awe that I can stream-of-consciousness an entire assignment within a night and manage to make it sound cohesive.

It also makes me wonder; why do we congratulate people when they announce something fantastic they are working on? 'Congratulations! Your half way there!' or 'Thats great, keep it up!' can be reinforcing to some people but for me, its a gold medal. I feel that if and when I decide to vocalise my plans for any creative projects I should be hounded by Goblins. Whenever it happens. So even if its just a conversation with my parents or a passing chat with an estranged friend that I'll be reminded that I still have far to go.

Coming up with an idea isn't a half-way mark; its a start. Its a slow start, but one at that. I won't belittle the fact that I may have come up with a great idea, but I think I shouldn't absorb all the attention and disregard the product. Its becoming so familiar that laziness has just consumed me. And frankly, I just want to eat some decent food and get cracking on some work.

So tomorrow I have a plan which could either go one way or the other. I'm not going to list it here in fear that the goblins won't actually appear (or may do), but I feel as if I will have to uphold my promise and write a blog post.

Oh now and I'm going to leave you with a rather amazing song that taught me a lot about Fruit & Veg. I know all the words and no, I am not ashamed.